A story that requires editing

The usual chatter has already flooded mainstream literature so much so that a person sharing his original experience seems to be a plagiarist. Every writer would have been plagued with this haunting feeling of being original than the originality he or she already has. I wonder how this feeling has come in the writers and readers. I wonder how to get rid of it.

Today, I stared with a plan to share my recent experiences. The experiences are very common to a common man. Now, if this is the case, why will another common man read it or appreciate it. While I was pondering over it, I realized that no one is interested in the common experience. Though, the stories around the world are based on real life events and are inspired by reality, they have something special about them. The zeal to make the stories much more impacting on the minds of the readers have made writers condescending about their creations.

Now, let me bring one more experience in picture – the experience of nature. I believe that most of us are inspired by nature and take it as inspiration and guide, in our imagination and creation. If that is the true, then why the tone of stories are not aligned with what nature creates. Suppose there is a male writer. His life is simple and uptight. The same writer when inks a stories, then he does not write a story where a writer is the protagonist. He and his readers deem his life boring for a story. The protagonist, of his stories or plays, will pull off unfathomable heroics, or woo the opposite gender in an innovative and admirable fashion, or will do something that will bear a lesson for the readers. All this will sum up to a conclusive ending of the story, be it happy ending, sad ending or any other emotional end. Now to the contrary, the real lives of people are not as happening as of the protagonists of our stories. Suppose the same writer we talked about earlier. He writes such admirable stories sitting behind his desk with a mug of coffee or a cup of tea. He may have the usual glasses on his nose and may not have himself experienced the life he is describing in his stories. He will have a number of crushes in his life. Most of whom he, unlike his protagonists, will not approach for him being very shy or overtly courteous. He will finally find someone whom he loves more than what his protagonists feel about any girl in his stories. He will propose her with very dull words in a dull coffee house on a dull evening. The lady may accept it. Let us suppose she does. Then he will bombarded with the dull drama and get married. He will have the usual married life – of ups and downs. This story will unfold for couple of decades where he will grow old. One day as every day he will perform his daily chores. That day will have nothing remarkable in it and that day he will abruptly die. The story ends here.

I am sorry if I lost you somewhere and you do not want to read more. The truth is that this is the most popular story by nature itself. It has written it so many times that almost every time it etches the same plot. So what is so wonderful about this category of stories that we never write. I do not know yet. However, I guess that it must be possibility of improvisation by the protagonist and antagonist alike. In our stories there is no hope, it sets itself and it will be set. However, in our life we have hope, we may bit by bit improvise the story and change the ending altogether. We may change it to a story of heroics or a story of romance or a story of crime and so on. If will be free and I suppose there is free will, then we can behold the pen that is still writing our story. The beauty here is that we are being created as a part of this story that is still being written. We are dead once the story is complete. Not yet.

So, why should you read the common experience of a common man that I set out to write in first place? I think I should wait and share with you a better experience to read.

Cheers!

No Nirvana

'Beyond the mirage, the desert folds into a grassland, to a forest. Midst the flora and fauna of that forest is a fresh water spring. In that pool created by the water spring is the elixir of nirvana.'

Someone whispered this prophecy while I laid half dead in midst of the never-ending desert with sand about to bury me completely.

Hell with that idiot, I know that he is lying. The desert is going to kill me and there is no escape.

Insentient and at the precipice! Let's see, where next! :-)

I was working on tomorrow's presentation with the television on.

At times, when I work on some important but boring presentations, then I usually turn on the television and tune it to a movie's channel or play some music. This way it does not feel like that I am alone and working late night. So, I did the same today.

After two movies and a bottle of energy drink I am now half way through the presentation. After all it is a forty slides presentation which has to be explained in a four hour meeting. However, I am not writing this write-up to share about the presentation. I wanted to share the movies I saw in the meanwhile. I think now I have given enough of back ground, so lets go and talk about the movies.

The first movie was "The Day the Earth Stood still (2008)" followed by "The Adjustment Bureau (2011)"

At the end of the first movie the protagonist says "At the precipice; we change". This was quite a heavy message. Indeed we change when tested. It is true in all sphere. In the movie, this philosophy was portrayed at a civilization/species level. However, when I repeated the same words for a few times, I realized that this principle is true even at individual level. After all individuals make the society. I was able to relate that 'human-will' also acts in the same way. Until at the brink, we are unlikely to act. Our mind is like one of the frog from the boiling frog experiment. Usually we boil alive and die in the boiling water. However, sometimes we leap and save ourselves. But this usually happens at the precipice. History is full of such references. Literature is full of such references. The most famous is that necessity is the mother of invention. Obviously the change is the invention and the precipice is that necessity that forced us to innovate and invent.

After thinking a lot about on this line; I made peace with it and I made it my whatsapp status; I even put a picture to go with the status. The idea was that I was feeling myself at the precipice and wanted to hope that I will change this state and come out victorious.

I took a break from this thinking loop and started working back on the presentation. Then started the second movie. This one came with a lot of recommendation from my friends. I wanted to see it but then there was a lot of work that needed to be done. I put the television on mute and carried on with the work. Towards the end of the movie, the protagonist was moving from places just by using normal doors as a portal, It was then the movie caught my attention. I turned up the sound. The protagonist wanted to have a free will even when the most powerful entity and its enterprise was against him. This was interesting, so I started watching it. This man was also pushed to the precipice. The only change from the previous scenario was that he had an easy choice. In the previous movie the only choices were either to evolve or perish. Also, in the previous scenario one had to work to survive and doing nothing will make one reach one's end. But this one was a different situation. He had reverse of choice from the previous movie. Doing nothing will ensure survival while doing something is taking the risk. One option was a life of comfort where everything worldly was made available by the enterprise at the price of his free will. The second option was to try and test himself against this enterprise. He chose the later and lost. It was the end of the movie where the enterprise got inspired by his efforts to fight back and changed its own plan. It was a happy ending. However, I doubt a happy ending would actually happen if this was a real life scenario. Even if such happy endings may happen, they are not very usual as it is very unlikely that your adversary will have a change of heart in nick of time. So, the daunting question is as what I would have chosen when faced with same situation.

At the moment, I think I would have taken the later option as was done by the protagonist. The reason is simple. If it is about free will and if it is a question of only my life then there should not be any hesitation in taking the risk. The only deterrent could be if and when my actions leave others who depend on me without any choice. Otherwise, giving it a chance would be hell of an experiment and experience, wouldn't it be!

Having said the above, I am now pondering at 2 AM at night in a foreign land as what am I doing with my life. Where are my risks, experiments and tryst?

One may plan very well and have back up plans to take care of all the scenarios.

The interesting fact is that a plan will always be flawed. The irony with plans cannot be stated more brilliantly than done by Hofstadter's Law ( - "It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law"). As such, all we end up doing is plugging the holes to keep the ship sailing till it reaches the shore.

Again, the above scenario is a very favourable scenario as in this one you get the chance to test your plan. Unfortunately, reality is even harsher. Even if one dares to risk everything in a trial with destiny, it is still up to destiny whether to test one's resolve or not.

The more one philosophizes over this, the more insentient one would become.

In this self imposed disdain, I may conclude the above. How so ever depressing it may read/sound but my next line is a tribute to the human spirit of hope and fighting back that still ignites my passion to experiment and fuels my desire to experience.

"Insentient and at the precipice! Let's see, where next!"

:-)

The letter from my new friend!

Today, I got a strange note on my desk from an unexpected friend. I am not sure how it reached at my desk.

Below is what it said:

Thank you my friend. I think that brief encounter with you made me realize the importance of my work.

I hope you remember the incident from last week. I wanted to give this thank-you note in-person but unfortunately I have been keeping very busy these days. Also, as you can understand the nature of my business does not allow me to visit you at this time. However, I promise you that if I happen come to that region, then I will definitely pay you a visit. It was a unique moment for me. Obviously it would be unique; after all it was a first time experience for me. Others of my kind who had similar experience say that such events happen very rarely and always leave some unanswered questions. None of us have answers to those answers and those who know the answer, usually reply in riddles.

I remember that cold winter night when you were sitting on that bench in that garden. I had a business meet at a nearby apartment. I had to meet a young man who lived there. He was sad after he lost money in some bad investment and he was drinking frantically in grief of his loss. That day he started drinking alone, at five in the evening. Though he was sad and feeling low, he did not compromise in his drinking quality. He had a nice taste in his liquor and he had plenty of it. It seemed that somehow he knew that there is not going to be a tomorrow for him. I had to visit him and console him. I was the answer to all his problems. He would never have any worldly problems after I come to rescue him. Though I am the solution to his problems, I knew that even after helping him come out of pain, I will not be welcomed by as least as a faint node as even an acknowledgment of my presence. It is not only he who would treat me with such disdain, rather this has been the usual story. All of them just try to ignore me as if they are oblivious to my presence, while I stand in plain sight bearing the contempt that they bestow me. 

For them, I am the one who brings the brunt. However, the fact is that, I have never been the cause of their actions. They act and reach to this point and when things go out of their hands, then I have to come and fix things for them. I believe myself to be the liberator while they who get liberated have looked down at me with hate. When have I chosen, not to help anyone? I am always there to offer my services to anyone in need. I never make judgment when helping anyone.

This constant apathy had started taking toll on me, and I, who has never had doubts about my business, had started having questions, until I meet you. That day, I was early for the meeting so I was waiting in the garden. I came to sit when I saw a vacant space at the bench you were sitting. I did not expect you to notice me. You were sitting there and staring straight into vanity. After a while, you looked at my side and you did not simply see through me. Rather you looked at me and gave a customary node. I was flabbergasted. I was so startled that I did not even return the gesture, but only observed your eyes. I was wondering, what was different in those eyes which made you notice me. I have not found the answer to that question till this moment. However, the things I found were not very comforting. I saw no pain in your eyes, which meant that either you had no experience at all or you have come too far beyond the point where pain even matters. Blessed with my skills, I know that it was the latter case. I realized that I should have been there for you, earlier, to comfort and to console you. Due to some reason, this did not happen when it should have happened. That very moment, in your state of vanity, I re-discovered the purpose of what I do. I do a very important job. This world will be full of misery if I do not do what I do.

My friend, I wished that I could have helped you at that very moment. I wish I could help you now. As you to understand, that no matter how badly I want to help you, but I will not be able to do same at the moment. You need to re-discover the lost purpose and pursue it. After all it was you who set me back on my path when I was desperate for answers then how can you be aimless. Think on this and we will talk more when we meet next time.

Until then, keep ticking!

With Love
~
Your friend,
The Reaper.

World is just a passing...?

Today, it feels like this world is just a passing.

The truth is that I have been stalking you from the beginning of time. When I was given an opportunity to chose my path, I was also told that you will be taking this path. In that very instant my path was decided. I had options but none can be chosen, except one. This is how I came to this world.

As per the decree of this world, I was born as a male child and you were born as female child. We were both spiritual beings back then; Godlike, brilliant, oozing with possibilities. I was the future king of this world and you were the future queen; more importantly my queen. I set in human flesh with this as one of the purpose of my life. I am an abstract creature; the presence of any form does not determine my existence. I am not bound to my human form; it is just a notional form as seen from the abstract plane. Like me you are also a resident of my plane. However, this world has its own beauty and there are certain things that come with this human experience. The moment I opened up my eyes in this world, I almost forgot all of it; the purpose was forgotten, your semblance was no more in my memory; and same happened to you.

It was for the same reason that when we first meet in this world, I was not able to recognize you as the same being whom I have been following since eternity. You were in your human form. However, in whatever form you be, it is you who made me come to this world and it could only be you who could make me feel home, the place we came from.

Yeah! This is not my home. My home is beyond time and space. From there space and time are abstract concepts. The presence of my home is eternal, while being equally unreal. It is beyond reality while it exists. The definitions of reality, criteria of existence are not present there. If only it was possible for humans to explain the meaning of Zero, I would have been able to describe my home in language. We are not separate from each other in my home. Even the Gods have characteristics, while we are neutral to that feeling there. The best I can explain about our condition is that I am a state of myself from my home and you are another state of myself from my home. It does not mean that you are a part of me; rather if you wrote this statement then also it will be equally true. All I may say, is that we have to return to my home. Here we are apart and need to be referred to as 'we'. There we are complete and one. Until both of us reach there, my completeness will not be achieved. Until then, I have to take various form using my various states and pursue you. If humans want to relate my home to something that makes sense to them, then they should think of it as heaven.

It seems that my purpose needs one more try. I understand you and I also understand that it may not be the end after which we will be going home. However, the human condition is unique. It believes. It knows the facts but it still believes. Consequently, I am also clinging to the belief that all will be well before the end and that the end will be eternal this time: no more forms, no more pursuits. If at all the belief is false, there will still be a beginning after the end. I have experienced a place where there is no time, but still I talk about beginnings and ends. I have experienced being neutral to any characteristics, but still I find sense in feeling of belief and hope. I can see that I can find meaning in words which are not at all meaningful.

Let me set aside facts and let me honor my human condition. Let me believe in miracles and wonder if one is about to happen the very next moment. Let me feel the intoxication of hope. Thus, let me chose to believe while I linger in my human form.

Story of a LASR Warrior (2010)

It was a fateful warranty support day. The code was out in the production. All seemed to be under control. There was a lone developer from LASR infantry on patrol. He observed that there was some movement in small group of rebel militia. Soon he found that the activity was targeted towards him. He was not afraid; he was a warrior. He took his post and waited for the enemy's attack calmly. The first battalion of System Testing testers surrounded him and attacked him. He was used to the kind of warfare these insurgents used and quickly defeated them. However, it was just a battle won, the actual war has just begun. One of the wounded System Testing testers quickly sent a SOS radio to its commanders. They promptly responded to the distress call by their subordinate and sent an entire regiment of ruthless User Acceptance Testers. The mighty developer who was just finished with one battle had found himself under attack from an entire regiment of tester. He was surrounded from all corners. However, hired guns are no match to a true warrior. He would not fall, nor will he pull back, he will fight till the end. The enemy commanders sensed this and understood that this post won't be won by mere force. Though they sent more and more troops but they understood that there is a need for a new tactic to end this war in their favor. They sat down and planned. They sent this plan to the Requirements team, a separate autonomous governing body made up of profit seeking business houses, and told them to persuade the development team to pull off its resistance. To the delight of conspirators, development team agreed to soften its stand. They agreed for the sake of diplomacy. However, the development team did not know that the enemy commanders did not want peace they wanted revenge. A defect was opened by the enemy. It was the only weapon that could possibly kill a developer. They armed the defect with as much ammunition as they could muster and fired it on him.

Oh, that was a scene. His fall was as glorious as his fight. He knew that he will not live after this defect hits the ground; still he was as calm as if there was no crisis. The expression on his face was indifferent to what was about to come. This simply made a mockery of the enemy efforts. The enemy wanted to see pain while they get their revenge. But some things just don't exist and to pursue them only causes pain to one. As is the desire to see pain on a true warrior developer's face. He took the hit. The blast killed all the low life insurgents he had been fighting with and badly injured the developer. However, he did not die. It seems that fate did not write his death by the hands of testers. In course of time the age of warranty support was over and so was the war. The enemy was defected, shattered, disoriented and dormant. Victory was no more their target; they had lost too bad to even think of a victory. They just needed revenge. They again relied on diplomacy to do the Job. They also had to blame someone for the loss in war. They made a small team and hand-picked some of the nice testers, who though born as tester had heart and mind. They crucified them and created an example amongst their followers. The developer lost some of his close allies, friends and spies he placed in this mad shootout. This was a diplomatic way to show the client that the same exercise needs to be followed by the development team. The after war development team was a new team as one of the most glorious leader of the team had retired. There was a fresh leadership. This young prince was not as mature as the one preceding him. He wanted to do good things for the team but did not understand as well as his previous leader did. He followed the queue. The bait placed by enemy was taken. He made a small committee of either new commanders or incompetent commanders to judge the war. These were not the right people for the job. They just wanted to complete the job rather than doing the actual root cause analysis. This committee blamed the hero warrior whom they should have hailed, adorned with medals and written songs about. It broke his heart. The warrior who single handedly took an entire User Acceptance Test regiment and survived the blast from the direct hit of a severity one defect in the most difficult phases of the war, died of a heart attack caused by a false accusation and incompetent bureaucracy.

It rained heavily that day. They say that even God cried on his demise. The legend is that God asked him if he wants to go back again and do things right. He said no. He had no one to return for. His own people were no more his own.

And, the prophecy is that,

"The one who is sleeps shall come back and free these lands from the shackles of undeserving souls".

I knew him the most and now he is going away

Caste is the biggest issue in Indian Culture.

People differentiate between each other on the basis of caste. There are so many sects and caste, and each one of them have a sense of superiority and have their own sectarian thinking. I was reading on web and found that the number of groups in which we are divided is more than I had imagined.

The exact lines were

"The majority (about 80%) of Indian society is broken up into about 2000 castes which can be further broken down into endogamous units which are called subcastes, the total number of these units in India is estimated to have been 75000 at its peak, and still about 43000."

Even if there is 50% of error in the above data, then also this number is very high.

We consider caste when we have to give favor, marry, chose our neighbors, or do anything. However when we are in need we forget everything about caste. A patient never asks doctor if he is of the same caste. A blood or organ donor is not asked about his her caste. If a security officer risks his or her life for our safety we do not ask his or her caste. we do not think of the players' caste when we praise or curse them for their victories and defeats. We dance on tunes of music never knowing the caste of the composer or ever bothering for the caste of the performer.

The funniest part is that we hate when Indians are victims of racism outside Indian while here we divide us into so many sects. Isn't this hypocrisy when we have made so many ways of differentiate between people. Whole country out-cried when a bollywood actress accused an English actress of racial apathy in a popular television show. At the same time we vote in elections based on our caste.

Two different castes do not marry between each other. If the boy and the girl are from different caste and they want to marry each other then their families leave no stone upturned to break the relationship. A child has a very beautiful relationship with  his or her parents. Similarly, love between two individuals is also a very sacred relationship. These two relationships should never be compared nor they should compete between themselves. They are different and one require both of them to survive. However, in Indian society Parents often try to force their will on child. In this attempt it is not only the child but the Parents, also pay a huge price. They destroy the relationship they had with their child. The child starts looking life as a compromise and the relationship with the Parents as a sacrifice or duty. The charm of life is sucked out of it and what remains is sadness and questions like "what if". The torture is more intensified when the child cannot ask these questions to anyone. The only person he or she could have shared the agony is gone to live their own agonizing life. The child learns how to wear a fake smile, hide the pain and act OK. Whatsoever is the child tries, there is no relief from question "what if", which never stops haunting their minds. The parents just think that things will change with time. Then there comes a time when actually the things don't change. However, by that time the people who took this decision are either gone or its too late to change anything.

The children who are cursed to lives this painful life fall in two broad categories - lucky ones or unlucky ones. The lucky ones simply die or cease to be the way they used to be. The real torture is for the unlucky ones. They are just wandering souls, long dead but still clinging to the body they lived in. Every day that ends without the partner is like the experience of death. They are cursed and never find joy. There is no motivation or inspiration. The are just act to be the person they were; actually they are now mere performers playing that role, the person they are acting to be is not them; they pretend to be the character and just wait for curtains of life to fall so that they may be free.

What if, I would have been brave enough to break free from shackles and get what my heart wanted. The answer to this question becomes the fantasy of the person's life. When sleeping, most of the times a young man either dreams of great conquest or of women while a young women dreams of men or of people loving or giving her importance. However, these wandering souls just wonder in there dreams as how they could have got what they should have got. Daily, they form a new answer to the what if question and dream of it as it were true.

At times, the person feels like walking away from this chaos and taking asylum in someplace no one can find them. It may be a new city, a new country or a forest. This actually is yet another dream to soothe the nerves. Deep down they know that they will not be able to do any such thing. Had they been able to do such thing, they would have been the lucky ones. They simply have to wait. They have to wait till its time for the show to be over.

The only solution is to all this problem is right answer of the "what if" question and at the right time.